How To Disappear Without Dying

Felipe Renfro

Compositor: Felipe Inácio Queiroz / Charlotte Whitaker / Asher Montgomery

I built this cage with broken hands
Each bar a lie I couldn’t stand
The mirror shows a stranger’s face
A past I wish I could erase

I tried to run, but shame runs faster
Now I'm a ghost, just moving backwards
The air is thick with every sin
And I don’t know where I’ve been

So I stare at the ceiling with nothing to say
All the colors fade into endless gray
I left myself behind that day—
Now the noose of memory pulls me away

There’s no light, no sound, no plea
Just the weight of who I used to be
If life’s a fight, I’ve dropped the knife
What’s the point of breathing life?

They say time heals, but time’s a thief
It stole my joy and left the grief
Each smile I fake feels like a crime
Each heartbeat echoes wasted time

I see the door, but there's no key
Just thoughts that scream and won't let me be
I tried to change, I tried to mend
But I'm a scar that won’t pretend

Would they care if I disappeared?
Would silence echo loud and clear?
Or would I just become a name—
A flicker lost in guilt and shame?

So I lie awake with tear-stained sheets
A prisoner of my own defeats
No prayers left, no songs to sing—
Just shadows choking everything